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Welcome to the Private Membership of The SBI: Special Smiles Unit specifically reserved for Convicted Smile Felons who have absolutely no intention of returning back to their neglectful smile ways. Some usual suspects get their smiles locked- up and get released to never return. 

Not you. 

You got a taste of the smile life. 

You now give a hot damn about your oral care. 

You've become guiltier. 

 

But guilty of new crimes like: 

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• Grand Theft Attention

• Smiling Under The Influence

• Murdering Insecurities 

• Breaking Necks

• Repeat Possession of ICE

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LIFE is for the Repeat Offenders.

The ones who understand that getting the smile was only the beginning.

You want to maintain it.

Protect it.

Accessorize it.

Upgrade it.

And occasionally commit another completely unnecessary Smile Crime just because you can.

We understand.

The SBI has a soft spot for career criminals.

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So while serving LIFE, your smile remains under our:

 

PROTECTIVE CUSTODY PROGRAM™

 

Consider the old you officially in witness protection.

Your new Smile-dentity has taken over.

And we're going to help protect it.

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💎 Access to our Undercover Task Force

There are Smile Operations the usual suspects of the public have access to and then there are

cases that are reserved for our Undercover Task Force. Private FOR CONVICTS ONLY missions. 

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🍸 Priority Lock- Ups

Convicts get special Prison Privileges. 

Get preferred access in case of smile emergencies. 

First Call for eligible appointment openings, private operations, limited case calls and special lock-up opportunities before they're released to the general population.

Because when a Repeat Offender wants back inside...

we make room.

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💳 The Smile Bailsbondman Access

Sometimes your bail is higher than you'd like to pay. And not to mention all at once.

For eligible cases, we'll help you review available Plea Deals—payment options designed to make your approved sentence more manageable.

Because sometimes justice requires...

negotiation and lower bail amounts at all times. 

Eligibility, terms and payment requirements vary by case.

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🗂️ House Arrest Products

Can't report to Corrections every time your smile starts acting up?

That's what House Arrest is for.

LIFE Convicts get access to our collection of approved at-home smile maintenance products and accessories designed to help keep your Smile-dentity together between lock-ups. And sometimes they are complimentary. Sent home by surprise. 

Your bathroom becomes a satellite smile correctional facility.

Act accordingly.

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🕰️ 24/7 Password Access

No waiting for drops.

No chasing the codes. 

No requesting bookings. 

Members NEVER wait outside for access to anything.​

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📱 Membership App (Your Smile Rehab Simplified)

Book Your Smile Lock Ups Instantly.
Check access.
Use your Smile Cash.
Everything handled quietly in one place.

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💸 Smile Cash (Referral and Loyalty Points)

When someone you love gets booked. You're now their Informant and Guilty again by association. 
We add Smile Cash to your books to be used towards your own Smile Bail, Lock-ups or at The Commissary. 

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📞 Personal Dispatch Line for Quick Booking & Emergencies

Because sometimes you don’t need an app. You need a Hotline.
You just need service. Quickly.

One line. At your fingertips.
27/5.

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🎟️ Visitor's Pass to give to New Suspects

Know someone who desperately needs a new smile?
Someone you trust?
Get them booked At Your Discretion.  Under your Listing on the docket. 

Choose wisely. ​​​

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